To Be Loved and Needed
by nekokitty325
Summary: When Snape finds Harry passed out from a suicide attempt, Snape takes Harry in and tries to help him forgive himself while learning that he is needed. Father/Son bonding
1. Chapter 1

**Harry's POV**

'I should be happy shouldn't I?' I thought with a holding a crystal clear potion in my hand. 'I mean Voldemort's gone so that's good right? Who am I kidding? Fred, Tonks, Lupin are dead and Snape barely came out alive. You know what? Forget it. No one would care anyway.' I thought as I put the potion to my mouth and began to drink it.

Harry began to feel sleepy as he began to down the potion. Just as he was falling asleep for the last time he heard a panicked voice call his name.

**Snape's POV**

"Potter the headmaster sent me to get you he wants to talk to-" I began before I noticed that there was no sound. As I looked around I noticed that Potter was on the floor with a potion in his hand. "Potter! What the heck did you do?" I yelled as I checked for a pulse took the potion into my hands. 'He has a pulse but it is weak.' I looked the bottom of the vial I noticed that the potion color was clear. 'This is a poison!' I thought as I pulled an Antidote for Common Poisons and put it to the boys lip. To make sure it went down I rubbed the boy's neck. When I was sure it went down and that his pulse was getting stronger I took him in to my arms sent a patronus to Poppy letting her know that I was on my way over there. 'Boy, what were you thinking?' I though as I took off towards the infirmary office.

**(2 Hours Later)**  
I woke up to the sound of Harry, who would never know that I call him Harry in my mind, stirring. I saw as he stretched, noticing a slight flinch, and reached out to grab his glasses before he noticed me. "Finally decided to wake up I see" I said with a slight sneer.

"Nooooo I'm still sleeping." he said with annoyance clear in his voice.

"I'll be careful who you are talking to I did save your life back there." I said with a dark tone.

"It was you?" He said incredulously

"No, it was the gingerbread man. Do it really seem like I do not like to help people?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

After grimacing at the tease Harry answered me. "Well seeing how you always scare people, yeah kind of.

"Ah" I said with a smirk before I realized I had yet to talk to the boy about his suicide attempt. 'Well here goes nothing'I thought with a sigh. "Potter would you like to bless me with what happened during your little stunt yesterday?"

Harry looked as if his was about to lie until he turn red in the face from anger. "I sick of it!" he yelled voice noticeably full of anger. "My Aunt and Uncle don't give a care about me! Tonks, Rupin, and Fred are dead and you were close to it! I've been alive for 15 years and not once have I've been loved. All because of Voldemort I have no family. I am not loved and I am not needed anymore so why should I stay!"

I was sitting in my chair surprised by the random spout of anger until I noticed the boy was shaking from tears. My body moved by itself. I got up from the chair, went over to the boy and I grabbed the boy and hugged him. After hearing his rant it reminded me too much of my childhood. I felt him become stiff until I felt his relax. I seemed like he was trying to hold back tears until I ran my finger through his hair and said "It's alright, go on and let it out." After I said that I felt him gasp and shake. Soon after that I felt my robe's shoulder get wet. After about 15 minutes of crying he finally settled down to sniffles and hiccups.

Decided to talk to him I called his name, "Potter?" no reply "Potter." a sniff and still no reply. "Harry!" I yelled. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and in shock of using his first name. "Now that I finally have your attention listen to me. You may not have noticed it, but you are loved and you are needed. Minerva, Albus, Poppy, and I must admit, even I think of you as a son. Your friends, the Granger girl and the Weasley children, what about them? You know what I'll make a deal with you. If I could make you feel like you have a family before school starts then you have the choice to stay with me or if not, I will let you go, forever.

"Deal" he said

**(About 30 mins. later)**

'Might as well get this over with,' I thought as I gave the password to the headmaster's office (which happened to be lemon heads). I found the headmaster sitting at his desk looking towards the door when he suddenly turned towards me with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well hello Severus," he said while holding out his bucket full of lemon candy. "What could I do for you today?"

Shaking my head politely, I replied, "Well I came here to discuss some things about Potter."

"Ah," Dumbledore muttered with a sad shake of the head and the twinkle going out of his eyes "How is he fairing?"

"He's doing well right now after letting out some steam, but there is something I must request of you."

"Yes?" he asked.

"I need some papers for Harry," I began cautiously.

"Don't you think it's a little bit too early for that?" Dumbledore questioned, the twinkle in his eyes returning.

"I never said I was going to give it to him yet!" I yelled as my anger shot up.

"Calm down," he said with a wave of a hand "Tell me what's wrong. You never get angry that easily"

"I made a deal with Harry. I've asked him to let me take him in for the summer. If I could make him feel like he has someone to turn to and to love him like a father, he can stay and live with me. But if I fail, he can go out on his own and do whatever he likes, even repeat the other day's incident."

"When were you going to tell me this?" Dumbledore demanded.

"I was getting to it," I answered with a little regret.

"So that's why you want the papers?" he mused, the twinkle in his eyes getting impossibly getting larger.

"Yes," I responded.

"Well, Severus, you have a lot of work to do. Voldemort may be gone, but this boy still has one great enemy: himself. I know that you can help Harry heal. In fact, not only can you help heal him, but he can help heal you as well. Severus, I put my trust in you to help this boy, which I know you can do. But remember, it is not only I who counts on you, but Harry's friends, teachers, and Harry himself. Now with that said, good luck, Severus."

Knowing that Dumbledore meant this conversation to be over, I got up, said thank you and good bye, and walked towards the infirmary on a mission.


	2. Chapter 2

**Snape's POV**

As I walked into the infirmary I noticed that Harry already had his bags packed and ready to go. When I looked towards the chair I was sitting in earlier, I noticed that it had a book with a note lying on top of it.

_Dear Professor,_

_If you are reading this then I am most likely asleep. As you have surely noticed, under this note is a book. This book is my journal. I trust that you will keep the secrets in this book to yourself. This is what was going through my mind back then and you are the only one who will ever know._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry_

_P.S. I packed my bags for whenever you're ready to go._

After reading the note a second time, I looked toward the book with curiosity. I debated whether or not to read the book, but my curiosity got the better of me. I opened the book to its first page.

_June 1, 2001_

_They're dead, and it's my fault. Snape almost died because of me. I almost lost everyone. The only people I have left are Dumbledore and Snape. If anyone was to read this they would be surprised that I even thought of putting Snape's name down. Not a lot of people know it, but I actually look up to Snape. Yeah, I know he hates me, but I still look up to him. I'm glad that he doesn't know this. Why? Because he'll probably hate me more than he does already and he'll probably kill me if he finds out what I'm about to do. I finally made up my mind, if I haven't lost it. There's this poison potion I want to make. You're probably thinking "You? Make potions? I'll believe that when I see it." Well I'm pretty good at potions, you know. It's just that I can't stand being under pressure. Especially by people I look up to. Wait a minute . . . I really am losing my mind. I am talking to a book about my problems. A bloody book! I better go before I go completely mad._

He looked up to me. _Me_. A spy and a Death Eater who not only hated him but could have turned him in to the Dark Lord. I think the boy really is mad. But I must admit he is right. I probably would have hated him even more and killed him for what he did. I am going have to have a chat with that boy before we leave. For now though, I want to see what else he has in this book of his.

The next few pages were nothing really. It was his last entry that got my attention.

_July 2, 2001_

_I finally finished it! It took me a little over a month to make, but it's done now. I decided to take it tomorrow. Finally! There will be sorrow no more! Aha! I think I finally lost it. Oh well. Well, I better go to sleep—I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow._

I need to talk to the boy as soon as possible. Either he's gone crazy or he has PTSD. Either way he is going to have to see someone. Well, better get ready to talk to him.


End file.
